Friday, February 5, 2010

Life in Limbo

I sure haven't done a whole lot of blogging lately. It seems like every time I think about it, I can't figure out what to write. So I post a couple of pictures and put off anything else. It feels like we are busy all the time, and yet, we're really not. We're just in limbo. Several months ago, for many reasons, we felt like it was time to look at moving back to Indiana. We scurried around getting our house ready to sell and Matt got his CPA stuff finished up. Then he began the job search. I know that when I look back on this time, it won't seem long, but I have decided that there is nothing that builds faith like waiting. Especially when you don't know exactly what you are waiting for. We don't know from day to day if we are staying or going. I don't know when I wake up each morning if I will have complete strangers walking through my home that day deciding whether or not to buy it, so I clean every day. Our adoption process has been on hold for six months while we've waited to see what was going to happen with Matt's job and our move. And if we do move, we will have to start over on that with a new agency. Nothing feels permanent in our lives right now and some days it feels like we are just wishing this season away. And if I'm not wishing it away, I'm clinging tightly to all the things I'm familiar with here that I love, like our church and friends, our gym, the weather, and even the grocery stores I'm used to shopping at. But like always, my faithful God is using this time to teach me things. I'm learning so much about the Holy Spirit and my total need for His power on a minute by minute basis. This is not something new, but something I have neglected to see for many years as I've tried to "do" life on my own. I've started a Bible Study that has challenged me to have a God Awareness as I go through my day and last Sunday our pastor challenged us to focus on praise each and every day. And this week the Lord has truly given me joy in the midst of our craziness. And I know it's Him because I'm not naturally joyful in the middle of stress. Last week I told Matt that I felt like I was going insane. I had so much going on in my head that I could hardly remember silly little things and I just felt like I couldn't go on with this feeling of limbo. I wanted off the waiting train. This week, the Lord has met my need to be filled with joy in the middle of what in reality is trivial compared to so much of the suffering that is going on around me. And yet, no matter how trivial, He still is faithful. I love that!

We found out two days ago that Matt got a second interview for a job we are really hopeful for in IN in a little over a week and today, he got another interview for another job that will also be during his time up there. Praising the Lord and trusting for His provision of the right job for Matt!

I haven't done well in the picture department lately, but next week I am declaring a week long Valentine's celebration and will be serving something involving chocolate every day. Both my boys are major chocolate fans, so I'll be sure to get some pictures of at least the littlest one enjoying some of his yummies.

1 comment:

Julia & Company said...

We'll be praying that you know God's will in every situation. We know how the moving thing is. Especially with little kids in tow. I won't complain if you are back in the Indy area either. :)