Friday, May 1, 2009

Contentment

For some reason this week I am struggling with contentment. I don't know why it is that I always put my ideas of how life should go on a time schedule, but I do. Last summer, we decided that we would try to start the process for adoption number 2 in April of this year. Then we had the giddy excitement of a surprise adoption falling in our laps this past fall, only to be back in the place of waiting again after that precious baby boy's mother changed her mind. Then, after we had grieved through that and the Lord graciously replenished our depleted adoption fund, I thought we would be back on track to start again in April. But after praying about it, neither Matt nor I had peace about going ahead. We feel that for now we are supposed to wait on God to give us the go ahead. And I really do have peace about waiting. But yesterday was the last day of April and for some reason, it was just a reminder that we are indeed waiting. The hardest times of waiting are when I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything toward what I'm waiting for. And so I struggle to be content with waiting. I struggle to trust that the Lord really will reveal to us His timing in building our family when I'm not doing anything tangible myself to take us in that direction. But, right now, I'm going to choose to believe that He will make His plan known to us when the time is right. I'm going to choose to be content because I know that He is God of the Universe and sees the big picture of the purpose for our family. I'm going to choose to be content, even when my feelings are screaming out questions. And I'm going to stop comparing myself to others around me whose families are growing and trust that the Lord's plans for each of His children are perfect, even if they look different from each other. And I'm clinging to the promise of peace that passes all understanding when we bring our anxieties to before the Lord.

4 comments:

vehementflame said...

beautiful post. I struggle to. I have every thing I could ever need but I still struggle at times. Hope and wait. That's all we can do. Did you get any allergy test results back yet? I have been thinking about you all week...

Esther said...

Heya sis! It took me an insane amount of time before I finally asked someone about the polling thing. The way you do it is first, go to Layout. Second, click the edit button on the big box that says "blog post". Then check the box allowing polls. Hope that helps. :)

Davis Family said...

No allergy test results yet. :( They did all the scratch test stuff on him, but he swelled up for all of them, including the saline solution, so the doctor said it was inconclusive. Now we are waiting on the results of the bloodtest. Added Dairy back in and he seems to be fine, so I'm thinking it may be wheat/gluten. We'll see...

Esther, thanks for the info. I'll have to check it out and see if I can do it. And if you don't mind, I'd love to be invited to read your blog. I always enjoy reading what you write!

ChristaD said...

I appreciate your honest in your post. I think as organized women we really struggle with sometimes sitting back and letting things happen all in God's plan.

I have been waiting these past two weeks regarding some of my own situations and its difficult to just sit back and let God. I am thinking of you though and am always here if you need to talk. I am not working, so I have all the time in the world. Love you hun!