Friday, January 23, 2009

Focusing on the Gifts, or the Giver?

I am reading a great book right now by John Piper called "A Hunger for God." The book is about fasting, which I actually didn't know when I got it from the library, but the title looked good, so I decided to read it. It's been super challenging. As I've continued to journey with God in His way of building our family, I've struggled so much with wondering why He has taken us down this particular road. I often feel like it would just be so much easier if we could just have biological children like most of the rest of the world. After going through a failed adoption I have found myself questioning whether God will even allow us to have more children. And then I get frustrated and angry. But I serve such an amazing God because He pursues me even when I have all these questions that tend to make me feel far away from Him. So right now, I feel like He is pursuing me through this book. I have been so struck by the simple concept that God wants us to hunger after Him more than His gifts. I have heard this concept before, but always thought of it in terms of money or material possessions. But as I have read, I have realized children are also His gifts to us. And I'm seeing that He wants me to desire Him above even the precious gift of children. When I write this, it sounds so simple, but living it out day to day is challenging. But I want the kind of Hunger for God that makes me passionate about Him whether He is giving, or taking away, or asking us to wait. Not a hunger for Him so that He will bless me with His gifts, but a hunger for Him alone.

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